Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Great Expectations

Expect Nothing ! Keep your expectations at a check. Take life as it comes. 

But I have never been that way. A set of assumptions make an edifice about anything and everything in my life. If I know that something is about to happen then I presume things, expect such and so will happen and hope that it happens that way. In my head I see what I hope to see and I keep seeing it. 

Is that so bad? 

Let me tell you what happened this Dusshera. I had no plan and I was absolutely bored sitting in the hostel room. An impromptu plan; my friend calls me in the evening and says he is going with his cousins to see the Pooja celebrations in Cuttack. He invites me to join him.

Cuttack, I expected it would be a small town. There will be bad roads and small temples filled with simple people. A village that is just becoming a town. There, that I had assumed. My second problem was that I didn't know my friend's cousins. But I had to get out of the hostel. I put on my best form and smile. I decided that I won't ruin their family time and timidly just walk by.

My first stop was to meet the cousins. I was prepared to play my part, that is not actually play any part and just be quite or talk only if necessary. Few minutes after the introduction and niceties I absolutely loved them. They were such good company I remember that I was laughing all the way to Cuttack.  They knew every nook and corner of Cuttack. Four of us in too big a car making our way through a sea of bike riders. Thus the backdrop itself,as you can imagine, was hilarious.

The journey to the small town begins. Cuttack in all its might was a city in its own right. The roads that swirled, the bridges that rose, the sign boards that flashed and lights of a national highway that illuminated it... and the crowd that thronged!! Colours adorned the city and it boasted of grandeur. At every turn I saw the beauty of deities magnified and glorified. We stopped the car and walked the roads. I was busy turning hither and thither trying to catch a glimpse of all that my eye could catch. My friend had a difficult time trying to make sure I was not hit by any vehicle. The perfect ending to the evening was the blissful "Dahi Vada". Bold and italics would do some justice to this fabulous delicacy, I hope. A great cold coffee to hold on to,on the way back, my friend's favourite became my favourite too! An amazing place and a great evening! 

And now about my expectations.You can say that I expected it would be not that great and may be that's why I enjoyed it so much. But had I not expected anything and decided to take it as it comes I would have again not enjoyed it so much. I expected something and reality took me to another direction.

Isn't that how you experience joy, amazement and also yes, disappointment or hurt.

When I share my problems with my friend she often tells me that don't expect anything at all. That's how you don't get hurt. But according to me it's expectations and hopes that make you experience reality better. I expected to be part of someone's success and happiness, but I wasn't invited. That disappointed me but also made me embrace the reality that I was never in the first circle of importance.

Had I not expected anything how would I eventually realise it. To stand there and not know is worse than having to turn around and walk away hurt.

Do not put a limit to your expectations. Expectations make you know what you truly want. And knowing what you truly want helps.


Tuesday, October 4, 2016

There is a bane to every boon

My ability to walk away from something that mattered much to me has been so innate that I have started to wonder if it’s a boon or a bane. To see and not feel anything anymore…. That’s the pinnacle of detachment!

I have always been able to climb there too soon and walk down the other side. But, the trigger to this has always been externalTo turn back and walk away has always been my last resort. An Aftermath of infinite trials that emerge from the bottom of my heart.

Every coin has another side. The refusal to see the other side doesn't justify the deep attachment towards anything. Acceptance of this and acceptance that there is a flip side makes life a lot easier. Every boon comes with its bane. That's how life is. Choose the boon, relish in it but the bane will strike you….one or the other day!

I feel a multitude of feelings simultaneously. And it’s so deep, that it troubles my existence…may be that’s why I can pen it down and when I do… it takes a page.

The bane of a boon.