There is nothing permanent except Change

The toughest day in my life was my first day at School. Crying my eyes out,clinging to the window,unable to bear the sight of my parents leaving me,I thought I would never survive any of it. 20 years later,I totally agree that the most wonderful phase in my life was the one I spent in school.

Change is awkward at first. It is something that tosses you out of your comfort zone and when you manage to get up you understand the world as you know it is not there anymore. It is uncomfortable, for changing from one state to the next upsets our control over outcomes.It is essential to learn to deal with this as change never rests.Change is here to stay.It is just waiting around the next corner. 

So how do you turn the tables. Socrates said "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy,not on fighting the old but on building the new". Change can flow or jerk, depending on our resistance to it.Synonyms of change are shift,adjustment,variance....But change also means challenge,transformation and development.Even a roller coaster ride can be fun if you know when to lean and create balance.

Change pushes your boundaries and brings out the best in you. The true meaning of things does not lie in them but in our attitude towards them.Just when the caterpillar though that life was over it became a butterfly.

Standing on the brink of something new,let us not comfort ourselves by saying " Just hang in there" but by saying " Lets make it". We dont grow in retreat,we grow through endurance.

Change is opportunity in disguise.

Bhai,ek chai?

Time flies by when women shop.It was one such fun day in kochi,a few years back. The culprits were my mom and my aunty.Believe me,I was too young to understand the value of such an opportunity and thus was more or less a victim to their diabolical shopping spree.My mom and aunty,it seemed,had taken an oath that they wouldn't spare the touch of a single cloth in the shelves of a multistoreyed building which,obviously or probably, could be the largest silk showroom in “The World”.But time and tide waits for no man or..woman. We had booked tickets for the evening train ,a superfast train which unlike all the other trains, reaches the station on time,5.30. When the bill was paid and the multitude of bags were delivered the clock ticked 5. I wondered if the clock too wanted to catch train because its hands were rushing towards 5.30. Tucked beneath many bags in an auto rickshaw that was definitely under Hermione's undetectable extension charm,were my aunty,my mom and me. A journey through the roads of kochi is like enjoying a free adventurous ride in a theme park except that there is no seatbelt or any gurantee for safety. The roads arrogantly screamed,“Though I may be the cause, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR LOSS OF VALUABLE (life).It is the responsibilty (and concern) of yours and yours alone.”

Toppled and tumbled somehow we managed to reach the station. And now comes the mountaineering. I bet you ,if you utter the name of god sincerely and climb those narrow ,sloppy steps that leads to the platform carrying two heavy bags on both the limbs of yours,he is likely to liberate you from much of the Karma of previous births.But we were running out of time and wits.My mom and aunty who had clad their beautiful sarees elegantly tucked it around to one side and was ready for the climb,looking messy.You see,fashion and style shall never hinder any woman from reaching their goal. The auto driver,a gentleman,looked at the 3 of us and the bags,he blinked at the hugely disproportionate number of bags and looked at us. He immediately swung into action.He helped us carry the bags and we finally reached the far away land named “platform”.By the grace of god,the train was still there,waiting and frowning. The auto driver helped us carry the bags and we reached th seats.Finally!! We kept the bags in their places and sat.We smiled at each other and breathed a sigh of relief.We made it.All that's well ends well. .......And all that is not???

I shall tell you. It just keeps getting worser.

Three belligerent passengers attacked us for usurping their seats and which on further scrutiny of the tickets was not an allegation but a fact.And thus the plight of the people with too many bags continued. The stress that I give on the number of bags again and again is because it really was stressful. The train had a chaircar arrangement .There was space in the middle through which one person could barely walk. If someone came towards you, you had to have had some training in gymnastics or experience in weight lifting.So people opted the easier way; to place the burden on the shoulders of aisle-side seated people,who were a lot likely to become quite humble by the end of the journey by sharing many a man's burden.Amidst their stares and curses,we struggled to get through. True to the dictum,it just kept on getting worser.We realised that we had to go through many compartments to reach ours.It was impossible to move on.But fatigue can give you ideas and also the courage to believe in them.My mom stopped an IRCTC employee,a Chai waala ,a man who distributes chai in the train.She asked him for help. He was a north indian who was addressed by many as bhai.He was tall and seemed custom made to render this favour to us.He carried the bags in his shoulder and the heights of his kindness and his stature matched.He troubled no one and walked swiftly with 2 or 3 bags and we could easily manage with the rest.And finally we reached our compartment.He placed the bags neatly in its place,helped us get seated and did not accept any money we offered him and went away with a smile.At last we were in our very own seats.Seated comfortably we enjoyed that evening by having chai from our bhai.

Today,many years have passed after the incident. I work in the city of Kochin now. I travel home every weekend in that same old train. He was no where in my memories and in fact I didn't expect that he would be in the same train. But the towering figure cannot be missed.He comes swiftly holding chai kettle to every compartment. He is still the same old bhai. I smile at him and ask him for chai. He smiles back. A smile that he generously endows on everyone,I am sure. I wonder if he knows the reason behind mine when I affectionately ask“ Bhai,ek chai!”

Another one in a million

It amazed me when I walked into that huge building along with some other thousands of people.It is one of that humungous structure that is the fulcrum of activity of an IT giant.

 It seems that the programmers have unknowingly programmed themselves to behave in a similar manner. 
They dress up in more or less the same shades. The lighter shades that fail to distinguish among stripes or checks. They walk in the same pace making the same strides that echo neither enthusiasm nor reluctance.An incomplete giggle,laughter that seems to have kept a tab on the decibel level is heard across the corridors.

I have seen the big bags,the smaller ones that hold lunch boxes,the shoes,the sandals,the ties.I have seen everything and yet nothing that I can remember and recollect as one that was different from others.
They put up their Identity cards that ought to tell them apart from the crowd. But sadly it doesn't . Sadly nothing does tell anyone apart. Every single one of them embodies the silent murmurings of a crowd.

It is good in a sense that no one can flaunt their positions or privileges that belittles another one. But as every coin has another side...it stimulates the frightful monotonous regularity.

The fulcrum is abuzz,the crowd moves on...The day turns into night...the crowd moves on...



"Inspired" by a boring visit to an IT Park.

Threads

Slow down and look around you. The things that you pass by,the people that you meet ,they all have a personal story and so do you.Sometimes the threads of these stories intertwine,else they just fly by.A person whom you have never seen before in your life  may play a part in your story,thus changing it forever.

Sometime back I saw a movie called "Sliding doors";a London woman's love life and career both hinge, unknown to her, on whether or not she catches a train.The movie halts at a point and then it diverges into parallel tracks.One track takes her to the heights and to the light;that is she boards the train and she reaches her apartment at the right moment and finds out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her.Though what follows is " get a haircut,get a new apparel,look beautiful,meet people and MOVE ON" .....the run of the mill thing,it brings a smile on the faces of the viewers on seeing how it actually happens and how she wins a loving heart eventually.The other parallel track that I was talking about,well there is no other track because she misses the train.She misses those moments,continues to love the jerk,her career messes up and its so frustrating to see how she spirals down into the dark abyss.The concept  strikes you so strong because it shows you what you could have had, against what you have ended up with.
The film disturbed me because that one moment which suspended the woman's life in mid air,swaying it between fire and water, was something that one would have considered so insignificant. She misses the train because a child jumps in front of her and she has to,not even stop,but slow down so as to avoid bumping the child. Had the mother caught hold of the child she would have boarded the train.

Films are not altogether a product of fiction or fantasy.Doesnt stuff like this happen to us everyday? My friend had come down from her new city last week.We decided to meet in a cafe.She told me how she missed this place.Down here people look around,well too often,and somehow they never seem to miss things.It is good most of the times as one does not become an isolato. She told me how things were different in her metro city,how people were bustling about,how she felt isolated in the big crowd often.Then she told me that while she was on the way to the cafe she had run out of change and the bus conductor was furious.A lady who was sitting near my friend smiled at her and said she shared the same sorrow. My friend told me how that smile brightened up her day and though it was a trivial matter she told me she felt good knowing that she was not all alone.That made me think,may be that lady smiles at everybody who runs out of change everyday or maybe she does not. But that day it did sooth my friend's aching heart.

On another day,on my way back from the tution class,I didnt get the right bus and I had to take two buses. What I was asked to do by my mother was to get down at a particular stop and get an auto.When I got down at that stop,I saw a bus which was half empty and before I knew it I had boarded it. I knew I had to get down at the very next stop and get an auto neverthless. I did get a side seat but I regretted the whole thing.I got down at the next stop,a major stop for people from everywhere and anywhere from the city. I saw a pale woman approaching the stop.She couldnt see me,her head was  lowered and she was bent. She was walking with the help of a stick.I caught a glimpse of her and I turned away to look for an auto.Then it happened..I felt someone tugging my top and looked around to find this same woman.She was anguished and told me that she was 5 rs short to board her bus.I looked at her confused. I dont think she had asked anybody else. It was as if she came to me directly. I gave her the money. Her eyes brightened,she smiled wide as if she had already reached her destination.She lifted her hand high and uttered those words " this money shall return to you multiplied..you shall have all the money you need,at all the times".With those words,that was worth a billion dollars,she walked away.When I got the auto and went to my mom I had a good news awaiting me.

I could consider all these things as mere coincidences. But something deep inside me says that it need not be so.Of the many times I went for my tutions that was the only day I had to board two buses. And I am not such a fan of buses.I still do not know what made me board the 2nd bus and to end up in that particular stop.I can go on penning down all the coincidences in detail and I might have to put a question mark over everyone of them and I might perhaps end up questioning  the 'coincidenciality' concept.

The thought thread of this post is that "Everyone is part of an intricate plan.Everyone happens to be inside a huge maze.Someone up there who has got the top view knows it all and designs it all"
You never know.Things can go horribly wrong,can take unnecessary turns,spiral down or shoot up..everything happens for a reason. And that reason need not make sense to you or fit your story.Because every "story" is only a chapter of a book that just goes on...Always look on the bright side of things and keep moving forward.That horizon of your life is only a mirage.

To Kill or Not to Kill

Euthanasia (from the Greek: εὐθανασία meaning "good death": εὖ, eu (well or good) + θάνατος, thanatos (death)) refers to the practice of intentionally ending a life in order to relieve pain and suffering.

Whose pain and suffering? The patient's or his kin's who unfortunately considers him to be a burden?
Who has vested in man the power to take a life away? Every heartbeat,every breath and every cell's action is known and planned by god. How can man intervene and decide for himself or others?

Being a member of a charity organisation I have often visited govt oldage homes and home for the destitudes. I would like to share 2 of my experiences which made me question the essence of man"kind".

It was during Vishu(Festival in Kerala) that I visited the govt home for the destitudes in Poojapure,TVM. It housed the women discharged from the mental hospital but were never welcomed back home.Since it was a festive time we thought of gifting them with our old garments and other necessary things.During my previous visits I learned that they love to see colorful things and they loved bangles. So I decided to give them my old bangles.The colorful bangles that goes with not just a color but a particular pattern in your attire bought for a particular occasion.We,girls,know that we use it rarely after that occasion either because its not matching with our new dress or the trend is gone.If you have bangles untouched for days please be kind enough to donate them. These women love it.
The ladies have a dormitory with around 20 beds. So far I have only seen the beds and nothing else. I believe that is because there is nothing else there. Not a table or couch or tv or radio or books or music or...Life! We sat in the dormitory and decided to make them sing so as to cheer them up. Everybody took their turn. They sang the first 2 or 3 lines and we joined in after that.Then it happened.It was the turn of a lady whose youthfulness made me weak at the knees.I couldnt gulp down my throat the fact that she must be only around 30 or 35. She sang with a clear voice.She sang the 2nd line and there was a mistake in it.When we corrected her she said apologetically "You see,its hard to remember things when they give u so many medicines".

Another lady who was in her 60's sang a cruel line beautifully " We struggle and bring up our children with all love and care.And now they compete with us uncompassionately for money" .I wonder whether she finished the song because I found her crying when we joined her to sing.

These women have been thrown away liked used toys.When the battery starts to weaken and when one realizes that there is no good coming from it they are thrown to oldage home dustbins. If you ask these women whether they seek a good death they might probably say yes. Because they are not living,they are dying.As every moment passes they are glad they are closing on to the end. They are nothing but pale faced breathing corpses. Euthanasia is a light at the end of a tunnel for them. They are glad to put an end to their meaningless existence. Death is good. It is always good. Bad is pain,suffering and unbearable is neglect. The women know that no love or care shall peep through the foggy clouds of their life ever again.But these women still hope for a future.That is the most sickening fact of all. Some of the women know that the barred gates(of the building) have caged them forever.Yet some of them hope that the gates and arms of their loved ones shall open for them one day.

The underlying fact is not complex.It is as simple as ever. Nobody wants to share your sufferings or ill fortune.You will live a happy life only till you are capable of doing so. When the time comes and you cant help to ask for help it becomes differently sad.

Euthanasia is not the voice of the sufferers.It is the sigh of relief of their kin. Nobody prefers death over life.They shall prefer death only when they feel they have already been considered dead by their loved ones.

Love has the power to make the most excruciating suffering meaningful.It has the power to heal and it has the power to succeed. The world's renowned doctors consider love as the most powerful medicine. It gives the sufferer hope and energy to beat it off and come back. Love is good life and good death.

Well I guess I ought to change the caption "To Love or not to Love"
Just think ...Would you prefer Euthanasia if your dear ones hold your hand and whisper in your ear that they love you and need you back when you are going through pain?

Lively songs from LOTR

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many path and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

Fellowship of the Ring Chapter 'A Long-Expected Party'.

Farewell we call to hearth and hall!
Though wind may blow and rain may fall,
We must away ere break of day
Far over wood and mountain tall.

To Rivendell, where Elves yet dwell
In glades beneath the misty fell,
Through moor and waste we ride in haste,
And whither then we cannot tell.

With foes ahead, behind us dread,
Beneath the sky shall be our bed,
Until at last our toil be passed,
Our journey done, our errand sped.

We must away! We must away!
We ride before the break of day!
The Lord of the Rings

The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter 'A Conspiracy Unmasked'.


O! Wanderers in the shadowed land
despair not! For though dark they stand,
all woods there be must end at last,
and see the open sun go past:
the setting sun, the rising sun,
the day's end, or the day begun.
For east or west all woods must fail...
The Lord of the Rings

 The Fellowship of the Ring , Chapter 'The Old Forest'.

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
The Lord of the Rings

 The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter 'Strider'.

Jane Eyre

True Love Liberates

“He is not to them what he is to me,” I thought: “he is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine;—I am sure he is—I feel akin to him—I understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him … I must, then, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:—and yet, while I breathe and think, I must love him.” Jane Eyre ,Chap 17

"I am strangely glad to get back again to you: and wherever you are is my home—my only home." Jane to Rochester,Chap 22

"I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you—especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame" — Rochester to Jane,Chap 23

 "My bride is here... because my equal is here, and my likeness" -Mr. Rochester to Jane,Chap 23

"He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for His creature: of whom I had made an idol." Jane Eyre,Chap 24